5:00am Alarm
5:30am Coffee made, laundry started, start working on payroll checks for first job
6:30am Wake husband and oldest son, continue working
7:05am Receive call from first fellow carpooler, get reprive from morning drive
7:20am Let oldest son talk me into staying home and “helping” me with my day
7:30am Wake youngest son, leave with oldest son to first job
10:00am Receive call at first job from former member of Board of Directors that he received three 1099’s from our company for 2006 (two years before I worked there) and he only has until Monday to get it clear with the IRS, could I write a letter on company letterhead to the IRS explaining what happened
10:15am Write, print, sign, scan and email letter for former member of Board of Directors of first job
10:30am Leave first job to pick up in-laws at airport
11:00am Receive call from second fellow carpooler accusing me of backing into their neighbor’s car and driving away. Snitch on first fellow carpooler
11:40am Check with agent at airline ticket counter about missing in-laws, subsequently told that in-laws’ flight DEPARTS at 11:00am and arrives at 3:15
!!!!!
12:00pm Enjoy lunch with oldest son
12:30pm Receive frantic call from first job’s boss panicking that the quarterly income tax deposit needs to be initiated today
12:35pm Confirm with first job coworker that she is doing the deposit
1:00pm Receive call from first job, new girl called in payroll hours wrong, asked her to let boss know deposit is taken care of
1:15pm Drop off oldest son at home
1:30pm Arrive at first job, call payroll service, conference in new girl because I don’t have authorization with the payroll service, GET authorized
2:00pm Ignore all matter of cell phone calls while muttering profanities under my breath, correct check
2:20pm Leave first job to pick up second carpooler’s daughter whom I’ve never met and have no clue what she looks except for long dark hair
!!!!!
2:25pm Receive call from first oldest sister with news that second oldest sister’s husband had to go to cardiologist again today for chest pains
2:25pm Ignore beeping of call waiting of youngest son calling
2:26pm Lose cell service and disconnect from sister’s call
2:27pm Receive call from second job’s accounting assistant stating the $22,000 check for the truck leasing payment has been cut and is ready to be picked up downtown
2:27pm Ignore beeping of call waiting from oldest sister calling back
2:28pm Call home to speak with youngest son, oldest son informs me he went to a friend’s house to play
2:29 Return oldest sister’s call who says she’s going to the movies and will call back later this evening with news of brother-in-law’s ticker
2:30pm Call second job’s boss to give update on status of check, boss says she’s near the downtown office and can pick up and deposit the check
whew…
2:45pm Arrive at oldest son’s school, get ignored by office staff and miss chance to page second carpooler’s daughter
2:50pm Ask every long haired brunette second carpooler’s daughter’s name
2:55pm Receive call from second job’s boss requesting valuation of rental properties based on rental income for the last twelve months
3:00pm Find oldest son’s friend who knows second carpooler’s daughter and helps locate, asking for a ride home himself
3:10pm Drop off second carpooler’s daughter
3:11pm Drop off oldest son’s friend at our house to hang with oldest son
3:30pm Try calling in-laws’ cell phone for update on their 3:15 flight, in-laws’ cell phone is off
3:32pm Get pulled over by airport police for driving 34mph in 10mph zone, apologize profusely and allowed to drive on… slowly
3:33pm Gaze upward toward heaven in gratitude and acknowledge cashing in of large number of Karma points
3:34pm Turn on directional and wait briefly for departing car in parking garage and pull into a CHERRY parking space
3:35pm Receive call from in-laws and get disconnected immediately
3:35pm Try returning in-laws’ call, no answer
3:36pm Dart through speeding airport traffic in parking garage while saying thank you again to the heavens for the parking spot
3:37pm Enter baggage claim area and receive call back from in-laws who are only now heading for baggage claim
whew… again…
3:38pm ANOTHER thanks to the heavens for flight delays
4:00pm Stop at doggie resort to pick up in-laws aged miniature daschund
4:15pm Drop off in-laws and dog, carry huge bags of luggage into their house, receive hugs and kisses of thanks
4:20pm Call 411 for number of leasing company of second job to see how late they’re open
4:30pm Arrive home to pick up check written to second job’s leasing company that will now not bounce because of deposit (see 2:30pm)
4:45pm Drive very carefully and considerately in attempt to regain Karma points
5:15pm Drop off second job’s check to leasing company
5:45pm Stop at UPS store to check mailbox of third job, thankfully empty
6:00pm Arrive home, argue with youngest son (12 next week) that he cannot drive the new car
6:15pm Oldest son’s friend needs a ride home, agree to take him
6:30pm Arrive home, argue with youngest son (12 next week) that he cannot drive the new car
6:45pm Arbitrarily select random frozen edible something from freezer and fire up the microwave
6:50pm Sit down at computer, check emails, smile upon reading gushing thank you emails from first job new girl and employee whose check was wrong
7:00pm Jot down a few things from the day to justify not having time to…
call the insurance agent for the new car
go to the DMV for the old car
email documents to husband’s coworker
call OBGYN for appointment
and… surely many other “to dos” that will surface in about nine hours
Friday, September 12, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sunday Morning
Oh, how I love Sunday morning! The town is quiet, none of the bustle of neighbors driving off to work, no children on their way to school. I took our doggie out for her walk, the long tired shadows of the approaching night reversed to the tall hopeful shadows of the morning as we walked along the sidewalk.
Usually our morning walks begin at the school yard, complete with a tennis ball and plastic baggie (yes, I do pick up after her, because in MY world, it would be MY kid coming home with the poop shoe). I limit our time here as to not run into too many school kids. Today, though, I let Roxi explore. As she sniffed the perimeter of the playground fence, I took my time walking on the frosty grass.
The sun was rising, warming the earth, and I watched as the grass awakened from its sleepy white to its lively green. I watched the trees boast their newly bloomed leaves in the gentle wind, crested by the birds crossing overhead. Pairs of ducks, noisy geese, and the high flying seagulls. I looked back and saw the path of my footprints in the dewy grass.
I read once that kabballists believe that every single blade of grass has a soul, and that fairies and gnomes dance among them. And indeed, I felt compelled to thank the grass for providing a soft base beneath my feet, and ask forgiveness for any unkindness my trodding inflicted. Now, if I start seeing the fairies and gnomes, please adjust my medication, folks.
And now I am back, with the expanse of the day before me filled with possibilities. I am blessed, with the warmth of the sun and the warmth of my family. I look forward to a day working in my backyard, my developing sanctuary.
I think back many years to my first feeble attempts at gardening in our home in California (unsuccessful I may add!), remembering how I knew, KNEW, that a garden spot was to become very important in my life. I could not explain why or where, how or when, but something in me KNEW that there would come a time and place where I would create a garden, and find peace there. I am filled with excitement and energy as I now build it, watch with some strange detached amazement that it is coming to pass.
It has become my place of worship, my Sunday morning blessing.
Usually our morning walks begin at the school yard, complete with a tennis ball and plastic baggie (yes, I do pick up after her, because in MY world, it would be MY kid coming home with the poop shoe). I limit our time here as to not run into too many school kids. Today, though, I let Roxi explore. As she sniffed the perimeter of the playground fence, I took my time walking on the frosty grass.
The sun was rising, warming the earth, and I watched as the grass awakened from its sleepy white to its lively green. I watched the trees boast their newly bloomed leaves in the gentle wind, crested by the birds crossing overhead. Pairs of ducks, noisy geese, and the high flying seagulls. I looked back and saw the path of my footprints in the dewy grass.
I read once that kabballists believe that every single blade of grass has a soul, and that fairies and gnomes dance among them. And indeed, I felt compelled to thank the grass for providing a soft base beneath my feet, and ask forgiveness for any unkindness my trodding inflicted. Now, if I start seeing the fairies and gnomes, please adjust my medication, folks.
And now I am back, with the expanse of the day before me filled with possibilities. I am blessed, with the warmth of the sun and the warmth of my family. I look forward to a day working in my backyard, my developing sanctuary.
I think back many years to my first feeble attempts at gardening in our home in California (unsuccessful I may add!), remembering how I knew, KNEW, that a garden spot was to become very important in my life. I could not explain why or where, how or when, but something in me KNEW that there would come a time and place where I would create a garden, and find peace there. I am filled with excitement and energy as I now build it, watch with some strange detached amazement that it is coming to pass.
It has become my place of worship, my Sunday morning blessing.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Did You Know?
Recently my sister and I spoke of regret, of guilt, of actions perhaps we should have taken during the last days of our parent's lives. I told her of the night I felt I should have stayed at the hospital with my father, after hearing from the nurses of his uncomfortable and distressing night. He was confused. Disoriented. Afraid. It was just one night, but it burns painfully in me still.
I came across this poem written about nine months after he had passed away.
Did you know?
Did you know you were dying?
Did you make your peace
alone in the hospital room?
Did you cry out?
Should.
I should have stayed.
I should have been with you.
Held your hand
Quieted your fears
Caressed your brow in the night.
I should have been your beacon
of familiarity.
Did you cry out?
Did you shout?
Did they hear?
Did they listen?
Did they comfort?
Did they ignore?
Regret.
I regret not the life I built
so many miles away
over so many years.
I regret your life I abandoned
at the last days.
I regret the warm hug I left behind.
I regret leaving too soon.
Should.
I should have been your voice.
I should have been your advocate
your legs your voice.
I should have stayed the night.
Remorse.
I'm sorry.
You have left those haunted nights behind
and have moved on to the better place.
Those nights now haunt me.
Did you know?
Did you make your peace?
Did you see Our Father?
Did He stay with you?
Please, I pray
you were not alone.
Did you know?
Did you know how much we loved you?
Will you forgive my ignorance
of your needs?
You always knew mine and
I failed you
I failed you
I failed you
I came across this poem written about nine months after he had passed away.
Did you know?
Did you know you were dying?
Did you make your peace
alone in the hospital room?
Did you cry out?
Should.
I should have stayed.
I should have been with you.
Held your hand
Quieted your fears
Caressed your brow in the night.
I should have been your beacon
of familiarity.
Did you cry out?
Did you shout?
Did they hear?
Did they listen?
Did they comfort?
Did they ignore?
Regret.
I regret not the life I built
so many miles away
over so many years.
I regret your life I abandoned
at the last days.
I regret the warm hug I left behind.
I regret leaving too soon.
Should.
I should have been your voice.
I should have been your advocate
your legs your voice.
I should have stayed the night.
Remorse.
I'm sorry.
You have left those haunted nights behind
and have moved on to the better place.
Those nights now haunt me.
Did you know?
Did you make your peace?
Did you see Our Father?
Did He stay with you?
Please, I pray
you were not alone.
Did you know?
Did you know how much we loved you?
Will you forgive my ignorance
of your needs?
You always knew mine and
I failed you
I failed you
I failed you
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Today's Miracle
Monday, March 10, 2008
I visited Salt Lake Airport today to pick up my father in law. Normally we use the Park & Wait and revel in the convenience of cell phones.
Today, however, I got stuck in the timing "dead zone", not enough time to go home and do anything productive after work, but a bit of a long time to wait at the airport. So instead of the Park & Wait I decided to short term park and wait in the terminal and people watch.
First, a lull in foot traffic, only a handful of folks waiting for arriving passengers. Shortly after, people start to gather, peering down the walkway looking for their tribe members.
An older gentleman sitting next to me bounces up with a smile on his face. He walks to the magic boundary of homeland security (DO NOT ENTER - EXIT ONLY). I watch the oncoming faces, waiting for that look of recognition. Will it be a man? A brother? A woman? A wife? Sister? Yes, a woman, his grown daughter I assume. With smiles big and beaming, they hug, and above the drone of echoing conversations, I hear the sound he makes when he hugs her. For a moment time slows.
It is the sound of one soul out to another. It says I cherish you. I love you. I missed you. The humble sound of a hug penetrating through to the inner spaces of our being is the miracle of today.
I breathe deep, and I am aware of my inner spaces, that vibration of goodness, the high frequency of love and awareness. I pause, enjoy this wave in the universe and reciprocate with an exhale of gratitude.
What was your miracle today?
I visited Salt Lake Airport today to pick up my father in law. Normally we use the Park & Wait and revel in the convenience of cell phones.
Today, however, I got stuck in the timing "dead zone", not enough time to go home and do anything productive after work, but a bit of a long time to wait at the airport. So instead of the Park & Wait I decided to short term park and wait in the terminal and people watch.
First, a lull in foot traffic, only a handful of folks waiting for arriving passengers. Shortly after, people start to gather, peering down the walkway looking for their tribe members.
An older gentleman sitting next to me bounces up with a smile on his face. He walks to the magic boundary of homeland security (DO NOT ENTER - EXIT ONLY). I watch the oncoming faces, waiting for that look of recognition. Will it be a man? A brother? A woman? A wife? Sister? Yes, a woman, his grown daughter I assume. With smiles big and beaming, they hug, and above the drone of echoing conversations, I hear the sound he makes when he hugs her. For a moment time slows.
It is the sound of one soul out to another. It says I cherish you. I love you. I missed you. The humble sound of a hug penetrating through to the inner spaces of our being is the miracle of today.
I breathe deep, and I am aware of my inner spaces, that vibration of goodness, the high frequency of love and awareness. I pause, enjoy this wave in the universe and reciprocate with an exhale of gratitude.
What was your miracle today?
Daylight Savings Time
I don’t know about you, but Daylight Savings Time throws me off for a few days at least. Bleary-eyed and foggy-minded I got through the day yesterday. This morning I stepped outside to grab something out of my truck and was drawn to a surreal glow past the garage door. Stepping out into the morning light, I saw a sunrise that made the discomfort of adjusting to Daylight Savings Time well worth it.
Observing the dawn this morning, an hour earlier than I’ve been accustom, and with a soft cloud cover absorbing and reflecting the colors of the rising sun took my breath away. Blending and glowing pinks, reds and oranges, I experienced a gift to be truly revered. Behind me to the west, the Ochre Mountains basked proudly in the bright sunlight from the east, their snowy faces bright and sharp. The miracles of this world are abundant, and honestly, looking at something as majestic as a mountain is kind of a slam dunk. If you can’t appreciate the beauty and magnificence of a mountain, well, I can only conclude you’re not looking very hard.
Later, on my drive into work, the sun had risen and dissipated the ethereal spectrum of color. The Wasatch Mountains stood proudly, cloaked in snow. I know that it is only a few weeks before we watch that white blanket inch its way to the mountains’ peaks, replaced by grasses and vegetation reborn. The Summer Mountains greenery will relinquish itself to Autumn’s colors, fiery reds and auburns streaking across the mountainside.Consider this. Our Source, our Creator, our God not only blessed us with an enormous display of beauty that is a mountain, but also has the power to change the color of its face each and every season.
I call that a miracle.
Observing the dawn this morning, an hour earlier than I’ve been accustom, and with a soft cloud cover absorbing and reflecting the colors of the rising sun took my breath away. Blending and glowing pinks, reds and oranges, I experienced a gift to be truly revered. Behind me to the west, the Ochre Mountains basked proudly in the bright sunlight from the east, their snowy faces bright and sharp. The miracles of this world are abundant, and honestly, looking at something as majestic as a mountain is kind of a slam dunk. If you can’t appreciate the beauty and magnificence of a mountain, well, I can only conclude you’re not looking very hard.
Later, on my drive into work, the sun had risen and dissipated the ethereal spectrum of color. The Wasatch Mountains stood proudly, cloaked in snow. I know that it is only a few weeks before we watch that white blanket inch its way to the mountains’ peaks, replaced by grasses and vegetation reborn. The Summer Mountains greenery will relinquish itself to Autumn’s colors, fiery reds and auburns streaking across the mountainside.Consider this. Our Source, our Creator, our God not only blessed us with an enormous display of beauty that is a mountain, but also has the power to change the color of its face each and every season.
I call that a miracle.
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